I am feeling...so good right now. I was sitting on the porch admiring the aftermath of yet another shower when I realized with great pleasure, that not a single bad thing has happened to me in what feels like forever. That's incredible. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've had a painful experience happen.
I'm euphoric just thinking about it. How blessed am I? There are literal wars happening all around me but for the briefest of moments, no matter how long this lasts, I get to experience an oasis in the middle of all the chaos.
Don't get me wrong, I have so much fear if I think about fear, and my mood is swinging like a pendulum all day as I soak in the sorrows and joys around me, but none of it is a direct attack at me. It's been a while since I've felt this. And to be clear, a lot of the attacking was me to myself.
Earlier today I wrote down "why do you keep setting limitations for yourself and then believing them?
Sorry I'm back it is 5:41 there was a lightning bug, it's a long story, it's on Instagram, it's not that long.
I don't know
maybe it is
the average attention span is like insanely short right now.
but anyways
the original point I was going to make before mother nature butted in, is that Why do I keep setting limitations for myself and believing them???? That's insane. That's literally making myself the only road blocker. I am literally the only person standing in my own way. I'm carrying a sword and shield and they're to protect and defend me from myself.
That's hilarious. I can't be doing that anymore.
It'll take a while to drop'em I'm sure. They are well practiced habits after all, but as the time between painful moments increases and the time that it takes the painful moments to pass decreases, I shall loosen my grip, but until then. YOU BETTER STAND BACK SHE HAS A WEAPON AND SHE IS READY TO USE IT! SHE USED TO BE A SOUS CHEF AFTER ALL. omg rebecca stop telling people about that, it's so embarrassing to drudge up the past to make yourself seem cool again. Rebecca I'm doing it because it's a frame of reference for people to see me as, it's not an ego thing...it's probably not entirely an ego thing...omg is it all an ego thing?
somebody shoot me.
It is 5:48 PM
there is nothing left to say, what a miracle.
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