I just witnessed a murder.
And the victim looked like she enjoyed it.
Is this what love has come to?
Here, let me set the scene (before I start, I just want to point out that I did debate in my head whether or not this was violating someone's privacy but they were literally doing it outside of my kitchen window in the car with a FULL ASS BRIGHT SPOTLIGHT blasting into the window. How could I miss it???? I'm sorry I'm such a fucking creep for noticing but there's random movement coming from inside this random bright ass white car in a very well-lit area and my first thought was "Oh, maybe this is one of those people that sleeps in their car for whatever reason that may be" and I looked closer to see if that was the case and I saw, much to my horror that it was lewd acts being performed in what felt like broad daylight given the circumstances. Fine, whatever, it's 2025 I can't act like I've never been there done that, college town, whatever.)
But here's where it gets good, I stepped back from the window after realizing what was transpiring... and tip toed away from what seemed like a very spirited head bobbing and then had the brilliant idea that I should time it out of curiosity. Maybe compare it with my own history. Consider it practice for working in a lab studying things I probably shouldn't.
With the timer set I left to brush my teeth because sex is actually super boring to watch. It seems so fast paced in the moment but outside looking in, it is nothing like the movies. It's really weird and everyone looks like a fucking freak while they're doing it.
I finish brushing my teeth, timer still going, peek, yup bodies, still going.
The timer displayed 5:10:69 I kid you not I have a screenshot.
They are getting out of the car and he is putting on his shirt.
The girl steps out of the car, smiling and casually chucks something away from the car and chatting with her car lover.
I am mortified on her behalf that I wasted 5:10:69 minutes of my life watching, I can't believe the energy she just expended. And from what little I saw she was WORKING IT.
I didn't even get a clear image of his face, maybe he has a great personality, I have no idea. Shit was bonkers from two stories up.
I've done some crazy shit for love and that was her time to shine in that particular way and who am I to judge?
Maybe this was a really good looking back and laughing moment. I am certainly laughing right now, and I can guarantee it's only going to get funnier...for me at least...I hope it gets funny for them because it feels like it may have been embarrassing for them, both of them, for very different reasons.
I kind of hope no one ever reads this blog...
What if she ever ends up reading this??
Dear Girl,
I'm sorry but it was just a story that was too good not to share, and I tried to be vague so you wouldn't get shot
love,
-RMM (like a car vrooming)
P.S. I hope you find love and if it's with the guy making you do all the work for a 5-minutes of heavan, I hope you enjoyed it at least.
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